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Widower - Self Loathing

from 50 Shades of Spring by AEMMP Online Distribution

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about

In early 2012, four friends came together wanting to share a positive message and knew no better way to do so than through music. It's what they have always known and it's a culture that has surrounded them for years. Playing their first show in May of 2012, lead to the release of their first EP "Nights Like These" September of 2012. After playing countless shows in response to their first release, they quickly followed it up with a single entitled, "Sifting Through the Void." It was at this point they realized being a four piece would no longer cut it. Musically they wanted to expand their horizons and come up with a sound much more original. In early 2013 they added a second guitarist to the band. Beginning to plays shows out
of state mixed in with local shows, throughout the first half of 2013 they began working on a follow up EP when the band encountered a set back. Their original vocalist left the band to pursue other dreams. It took two more tries before they were set and knew they found the right person to move forward carrying the message they've wanted to display since Day 1. In December of 2013 they released their second EP, "Among Wolves."

lyrics

I dug myself
dug myself a deeper hole
there's nothing left inside of me
the gasoline on my skin is my fiend
you can watch me burn but I won't bleed
when I leave this earth I won't feel a thing
this body isn't mine
just something that I'm using
to spread my fear and hostility
my mind's a fucking prison
when can I break the locks
find me trapped beneath the bars around my heart
every feeling I've ever felt was cursed from the start
let me die by myself
because I think I'd like to slip away
leave me to rot on my own
I think I'm sick of myself
maybe I'm sick and tired of everyone else
I'd like to dream without feeling the pain and the hate
I am suffering
inside the remnants of my walls
my heart has turned to stone
I haunt the dreams of the ones who sleep
with my thoughts and my memories
if my words are never heard my thoughts will never be cured
I've embraced the ghosts that haunt my mind
leave me alone to rot on my own
I think I'm sick of myself
maybe I'm sick and tired of everyone else
I'd like to dream without feeling the pain and the hate
I am suffering

credits

from 50 Shades of Spring, released May 16, 2014

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